Saturday 11 April 2015

Why am I going to uni?

Why the hell am I going to university? I'm doing a degree in journalism, and I'm pretty average to get anywhere in that field. It's the only thing I'm remotely interested in. I'm probably going to end up in a job that doesn't even require a degree yet still have a fuckload of debt hanging over my head.

The reason I am going to university is because it's the done thing. It's what everyone does. It's what's expected. I was a top set kid so the concept of going to university was already drilled into me from a pretty young age. We weren't allowed to attend the workshops about going into full time work or apprenticeships. We had to go to the university talks. Because that's the bracket I fell into.

My mum and dad didn't go to university but they expected me to. I was overly praised in primary school and made out to be a genius because I went to a school full of brain-dead pieces of shit. Literally, I was the smartest in the school. I got to high school and was put in the very top set and I was shocked at how clever everyone was. To be fair I did okay in my GCSEs, As and Bs. I did so well in my science coursework and first exam that I only needed an E in Biology, Chemistry and Physics to get a B. And that's what I did. I don't know how that happened because I couldn't tell you a thing about any of those subjects. I loved English, and I loved my teacher and she loved me. Probably because I was such a kiss ass. So thanks to her, I won an award for English. This made me seem even more intelligent. I'm fucking not. This made my school and parents think I was really clever and it would be a waste if I didn't go to uni. I always felt undeserving of their praises because I thought I just got lucky throughout it all.

My first year of A Levels went well. A, B, C, C in English Language, Religion, French and History. My second year I left with B, C, C. Average. I got to uni, hated it, left and now I'm going back in September.

I have no fucking idea what I want to do with my life.


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