I am so disappointed in myself. I have been too busy to even open up my laptop, let alone think about writing a blog post. I have been constantly working at one of the fancy, well hidden restaurants in Hull, and if I've ever not been at work I have been spending as much time as I can with my boyfriend before we part for our lives in separate cities.
But here I am. Finally at uni. Again. Wow.
Surely the fact I've already experienced university life would make me a lot less nervous at the idea of starting again? Nowhere near. In fact it completely terrifies me. I went once and hated it. This is my last chance and I have to get it right this time. I do not want to have another bad experience, I do not want my passion for something to be driven out of me. Most of all, I don't want to let my parents down. I dropped out of my last uni. I was a d r o p o u t. Imagine my mum having to explain my situation to an old relative she was having a little catch up with. Imagine how many times she'll have wanted to just say "Aw yeah she's doing really well" and let the conversation pass over.
No, not this time. This is the time I'm going to get it right. Last year did lead me in the right direction, I just took a detour on the way. And I will look back and think it was a good thing. It has made me determined to really grab this year by the balls and make it work. I'm going to work as hard as I possibly can, make as many memories and friends as I possibly can and actually give my parents something to be proud of. Yes Mum, you tell Jane from work how well I'm doing and actually mean it.
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