I HATE EVERYTHING RANT

Okay so today I am in a really fucking foul mood and I know that after I've ranted anyone who sees this will pull out the starving kids in Africa card which pisses me off even more. "Why are you down? You have no reason to complain. You have food and roof over your head, that's more than a lot of people have". Yes okay but does that mean I should be ecstatic about not having a job because the one job in this city with no jobs I don't start until next month? Having no money so scrimping off my family? Being back home while all of my friends are at university? Having a shit load of money that needs paying off that I CAN'T PHYSICALLY PAY OFF BECAUSE I HAVE NO MONEY. I've also had to cancel my gym membership and they're trying to track me down for money. I'm 19.

So what really has triggered all this anger to evolve into a rant on here is the fact that my shitty iPhone (my mum pays the bill and she's cancelling that soon so don't use that against me) fell off my bed. The bed is a normal bed, like a foot and a half high maybe, I don't know. But my phone fell off the side of that and obviously because iPhones are so fucking shitty and fragile that the screen has completely broken. It hasn't just got a crack in it- it has gone black and green. So I can't even use it at all. And I need my phone, for getting in touch with my boss, and to call the bank to get a fucking overdraft. It's going to cost me £40-£50 to get it replaced. I don't know whether that seems a lot to anyone else, or whether it seems cheap for an iPhone screen replacement but I don't have that fucking money.

I just hate how my friends are driving around in their new cars their parents have bought for them, getting given money from their parents, have good part time jobs because of who they know. I've never had any of that. The last time I went on holiday with my parents was six years ago. You think my family can afford to help me out? "Oh why don't you take your driving lessons Jodie?" BECAUSE I CAN'T AFFORD IT, MY MUM CAN'T AFFORD IT AND MY DAD CANT FUCKING AFFORD IT. It's one of my best friends' birthdays soon and I can't afford that either. I need to get her a gift AND go on a night out because she's coming home from uni especially to go out for her birthday. Oh my God and I just remembered my mum is making me go halves with her for my new bed and matress because I'm currently sleeping on a cheapo bed that I've had six years.

I hate everything.

Ere mate it's Job Seeker's Allowance not dole

Okay so my previous posts have made it pretty evident that I left uni and moved back home (yes I am restarting in September). Since I moved back I have been endlessly searching for a job, obviously accompanied by hours of Netflixing which does make me seem like a bit of a dosser, but I have been applying for every single job I could find. Even a job which would require me wiping old people's arses. I don't think I was actually qualified to do that. Wow. I have also been waiting on my old boss to get back to me who said I could back to my previous job but it turns out she's ignorant and rude so there's no light at the end of that tunnel.

I honestly forgot how hard it was to get a job, a month went past and I went to "sign on" as it's called. I don't know if that's a colloquialism or the official term but I went to the Job Centre to claim Job Seeker's Allowance. Obviously any of my friends who found this out blasted me with comments about being "a doley" which unfortunately has very negative connotations. I find it really fucking horrible and bleak that someone looking for a job in this shitty economy, accepting a little bit of help from the government at a time of need gets branded as scum. I do, however, understand why singing on has such negative views. The only people claiming JSA that are ever shown in the media (mainly because most of these documentaries are made by channel 4) are always showing the drug addicted, child neglecters who live in filthy tab end infested hovels, not the people who have been made redundant or whatever, who are actively looking for a job.

Fortunately I live on the outskirts of Hull and have a different Job Centre rather than the Hull City Centre one, so it's not as bad. I've never been in myself, but my mum used to work there and laughed at the idea of me sitting in the Hull Job Centre, saying how I'd probably cry and rather have no money at all than have to go in there. Additional note: "it stinks". So thankfully, I go to the smaller, quieter annd probably more pleasant smelling one near my house. Even for a Job Centre located in a fairly respectable area, I have seen a few sights, even though I've only been in twice. The first time I went I saw a woman who had been in the paper for attacking a minor with a riding crop, and the second time a smelly man came in yelling about how his money has been stopped but he needs to go pick up his "meFadone" before he can see anyone about it. Lovely. So these are the people that Channel 4 films. The rest of the people I have seen in there are actually in there for the reason JSA was created, accepting help in SEEKING A JOB.

So no, I'm not a "doley". And I have two interviews next week so hopefully I don't have to sit in the Job Centre for much longer getting advice on how to improve my CV while pretending I didn't know this shit already.